www.alishasanvicens.com & why I write

 

How exciting is this? I've just claimed an address on the world wide interweb – not bad for a technophobe like myself.

I though I'd celebrate by uncorking a topic that bubbles up nicely in the heads of people like me who, 1. keep a blog, 2. get a self-named URL and 3. attempt to write a memoir of a season of their life (ie four years in England). Because to do any of the above seems pretty audacious, even a bit pretentious. And pretense is never nice.

So I thought I'd share a little bit about why I write. Because even I struggle with the accusation of being pretentious. I definitely don't want that. When I hear people say “Oh, I could never keep a blog because I don't think anybody would be interested in what I have to say” or voices in my head whisper, “Who do you think you are to write a book about yourself?!” I start to second guess myself. Who do I think I am? I have to have an answer.

I must admit that these voices often come with a British accent, because though England has many fine points, it doesn't exactly encourage wild and lavish dreaming. And it's a country that sees vulnerability as a more a liability than an asset, so spilling your soul on-line or in print does indeed feel a bit counter-cultural there. I know I've drawn in my boundaries markedly during my Britification process. I'm much more hesitant to tell all, and I definitely test the waters with a big toe before diving into the waters of confession. {Brits, please chime in if you disagree! And you know I don't mean everyone in England, I just mean in comparison to America.} Being in England often made me anyway second guess wanting to keep a blog or write a book. But I do it anyway.

The main reason is that I think vulnerability is a precious thing. And while I'm thankful to England for teaching me to be more protective of it, I still think it's important and powerful. When I read or hear people's stories, the one's they've vulnerably opened up and shared,  I'm thankful. Their stories make me feel like I'm not crazy for feeling how I do and not alone in my experiences that often seem unorthodox.

So that's really it: I just like to share the things I go through in hopes that they can encourage other people. In my efforts to protect myself I don't want to hoard the little gems of understanding I find along the way. Every time I sit down to write, I want to be thinking how can I serve other people with my story? I don't always think this, but it's a good thing to at least try and think.

When you put yourself forward for anything in life that requires vulnerability, it's really hard to not come across as pretentious. But I think it's a risk worth taking & I hope you agree.

So, that's why I write, in a nutshell. And also I must say I am so grateful for everyone who stops by my blog and tells me that what I've written has encouraged them – it really makes it all worthwhile. So...

Thank you.

Photo by Brandon Page